Yet Another Dialogue

Doug: Are you writing an article for someone?

Mark: yes, why?

Doug: You had made mention.

Doug: Explain.

Mark: for the Beat.

Mark: it

Mark: s

Mark: an

Doug: more slowlly please

Mark: obit

Mark: of

Mark: errol

Mark: thompson

Mark: better

Mark: known

Mark: as

Mark: "ET"

Mark: he

Mark: was

Mark: a

Mark: studio

Mark: engineer

Mark: and

Mark: dub

Mark: mixer

Mark: he's

Mark: dead.

Mark: now

Doug: How did it befall him? The death? Pray tell, milord.

Mark: his heart did fayl him.

Mark: No! I err in my speeche.

Mark: there was lacke of suffycient aire to his braine

Mark: they calle it in some parts, a stroke.

Mark: we didst predict that he woulde ryse and walk againe, but the the spectre of the man with the scythe did appeare, and he was taken to the other worlde.

Doug: That dist befall milord Paddington this fortnight hence. Hark! I hear him now, his spectral form...that braying which does plague me as it did in life, oh God! Still my aching pancreas such that I might live another day to see my Lady Bettina on the threshing floor.

Mark: the grym reaperre did dutyfully performe his grym chore, and his spirite was no more.

Doug: And having laide him on the floore, he exeunt through the doorre.

Mark: Lady Bettina WAS raised into the aire, and when she came back doune agayne, it was on a spyke of irone.

Doug: A most painful boille didst she, late of Hunsdon's Faire, develop internallye.

Mark: someone should write jacobean or elizabethan tragedy in 2004.

Doug: Nice.

Doug: VERY gory.

Doug: After a while you're not able to see the film, were it be a movye, for the thick filme of bloode.

Doug: I hope you wrote the obit in the Jacobean style.

Mark: I wrote it in Gyoko-San.

Mark: I have to deal with dinner.

Doug: Godspeede.

Doug: Good my liege.

Doug: Take my kidneye, sire, may it serve you welle.

Mark: I hath lain down upon a gilded sword, and it hath penetrated my back.

Doug: Hark, my liege, for I heare the Giante Bunnie of Exchester!!!

Mark: Hithens! To the ramparts with violent haste! Chaste the risens! Hairsclombe the adronials!

Mark: Gleesen the Mound of Filth!

Mark: Do chubbit, my whizzens. For the burling whappit doth range amongst feral fear, and my horse is rent asunder like a tail-wind dog.

Doug: Slarth the umberlins! Chaywaste to the barrowcats! Ha, ha! Let this be the undoing of milord Guppy's blisterwinkles!!!!

Mark: Hath ye no mind for mavens??

Doug: [General alarum]

Mark: [Many are slain]

Doug: CURTAINE

Doug: Annnnnd that's a print!

Doug: Okay, see you all back here tomorrow.

Mark: All the actors are charcoal black racist caricatures, peeling off Kenneth Branagh masks

Doug: Who peel off the blackface and are albinos.

Doug: Who rub away the white pancake and are hedgehogs.

A Dialog

Doug: How is karate? Have you continued?

Mark: yes, with the instructor alone, and it is gruelling and difficult.I don't look forward to it.

Mark: i look forward to being done with it!!

Mark: I don't like it.

Doug: Wait -- what happened to the other students?

Mark: the other students were eaten.

Doug: By the instructor?

Mark: yes!

Doug: He must be good! Very good!

Mark: the best.

Mark: I have to be on my guard.

Mark: how much would you pay to see a film wherein a karate instructor devours his class?

Mark: lots of growling, teeth, blood, screams, blurry, very blurry, red blood splashing everywhere, guts, entrails, at the end he wipes his mouth with a napkin and bows.

Doug: The thing is that the film must start in the middle, without explanation. There can be credits, but they should be over black, with a simple title that doesn't give anything away, like Mr. Yamura's Mid-Day Meal.

Doug: Then all of the sudden the film starts, several people already partially consumed, their remains scattered about, the instructor chasing some girl right into the camera and chewing her arm off, gore spattering the lens, camera knocking over, looking at the ceiling.

Doug: It starts quite abruptly, mid-sequence.

Doug: The lighting is poor and there is no way out.