What I Want

I want to write a rambling book that touches on many topics, something which lets me really set down my world view and cause people to say, "what is it with this guy?" Something that causes them to reach back deep in their gullets and spew forth a jetlike stream of...well, let's be frank, a most vile, bilious liquid -- a physiological reaction even a trained health professional would turn away from.

The book could be titled "The Book I Want to Write". It will be a 347-page proposal, or rather conjecture, of a book that could not, in and of itself, be written, or at least marketed, but of course in attempting to describe the book's confusing, diffuse, wholly unconnected subject matter, to say nothing of the shocking array of regurgitative, excretory, and conniptive physical reactions its author wishes to elicit, enough pages will accrue to make up a book.

It will get a great Staff Review at Green Apple Books. It will sell two copies.

My father will ask me to reimburse him for 16 years of tuition.